“Is that a T-R-I-A-N-G-L-E?”
The phrase was familiar. We did some variation of it for years. Yep, my brother and I teased our younger sister, Jane. The reason? She failed the shapes portion of kindergarten on one report card and we found that to just be hilarious.
It wasn’t until about five years ago or so, when Jane finally stopped us and explained. She knew her shapes in kindergarten, she was just really shocked that the lady who said she was the teacher was asking Jane about them. Jane figured, if this lady is going to be teaching me, she should know on her own, and I’m not going to give her the answers until she figures it out for herself.
Classic.
That’s my sister Jane. Really bright, and really funny (what other kindergartener would rock that type of logic?).
Still, it doesn’t mean we stopped teasing her.
In high school, she did really poorly on one Spanish quiz. Her instructor (who was let go that same year for being a poor teacher), wrote at the top of her paper that she received an “F–”
Yep, an “F MINUS MINUS.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means you did really, really, bad.”
Our family found the whole incident to be so hilarious (and the instructor to be so weird), that my parents hung it up on the refrigerator at home. For years, we called Jane our family’s best failure.
Years later, my other sister, Mary, didn’t do well on one exam in college and complained about it. She said she felt like a failure. Jane and I quickly corrected Mary since the family’s title still belonged to Jane.
I’d like to say it was always in good fun, and that Jane was always along for the ride, but in all honesty, it couldn’t have been easy being Jane.
I was pretty active in high school–probably more than the average person–so Jane spent much of her first two years in high school constantly reminding others that while she was related to me, she wasn’t me. As she sat in her biology class, she had to stare at a plaque of the award my high school named after me. She heard the phrase, “You’re Patrick’s sister” more than she needed to.
She made her mark in athletics, playing on both the soccer and field hockey teams. She had a really solid group of friends. She did participate in some leadership programs. She excelled.
It’s unfair that most identify younger siblings by their older one. I heard “you’re Dave’s little brother” more than I wanted to in high school. Really, I’m “Jane’s brother” more than she is “Patrick’s sister.”
Why?
Because of the lessons I learn from my sister.
In college, I had to create a leadership timeline for a course. A major event in my personal development is Jane’s birth. She allowed me the chance to care for someone while I was still a little kid. As we grew older, she provided much laughter, incredible examples of perseverance, and major guidance when I needed it.
Now she’s going to be able to do that in an even greater capacity for those that truly need it.
As some of you may have heard in a speech or read in a previous blog post, this past weekend, my sister graduated with her Masters in Social Work. She’s the first sibling (not counting my brother-in-law) to graduate with a Masters Degree.
I sat with my parents, grandparents, and siblings as we watched the ceremony for her program this past Saturday in the San Jose State University Events Center. It’s a bit of a strange graduation program simply due to how deep it gets.
I don’t remember hearing about suicide, abandoned children, drug abuse, and geriatrics at my graduation ceremony, but here they were in hers. The keynote speaker described the horrible situation of the three abandoned children in Portland last week. He talked about how when many of us turn off the news, that is exactly when the social worker goes to work.
My sister will dedicate a significant portion of her life serving those who have the least and need help the most.
She’s set the bar quite high for me as her brother. I’ve got to be worthy of the title of Jane’s brother. I can’t wait to see how she continues to challenge me in the way in which I serve and engage in my relationships.
…and that’s pretty awesome.
Congratulations, Jane.