Several months ago, I wrote a Mumford & Sons blog entry. It was after a pretty tough fall. Today, I write another–not to emo out or to complain, but rather to show that we all go through tough times, and there is a part AFTER the storms.
If you’re a regular reader, you might already know what some of this blog might be about.
Just before Memorial Day this year, I felt a pretty intense triple punch of life. I had just finished speaking to the Maine Association of Student Councils and was headed home when I received an email from my sister. She was almost done with an incredible vacation in Costa Rica, and then things went bad. She was robbed at knifepoint and her wallet and cell phone were stolen. One of the girls traveling with her even got her passport stolen. No one was injured, but they were incredibly exhausted and frustrated by everything that took place. I thought this would be the extent of the bad news for my family or me, but I was wrong.
The next day, a Friday, I met up with my girlfriend. Earlier that day she had a job interview… for a job in San Diego. The interview had gone well and an official offer would take place on Tuesday. My girlfriend and I have been dating since November. It’s been going well, but a huge move was pretty intense. We got into tearful arguments, trying to navigate our worlds. After quite some time, she said she needed to get some food. While she was out, I checked my voicemail and saw that my mom had called several times. I called her back and learned…
…that my Grammy died.
I honestly was at a loss most of that weekend. My girlfriend and I delayed our argument while she tended to my sadness over my Grammy’s death. Still, I was all over the place that weekend. At one point I’d be happy and okay with life, and at other points, I felt like too much had been piled on me too quickly.
I cried a lot.
I talked with friends a lot.
I tried to process what was happening.
I flew out on Memorial Day to head to my speaking engagement. Luckily, it was near my cousins in Northern California. We visited and remembered my Grammy, tears turning more into laughter.
The next day, just before I spoke to over a thousand HS students, I received a call from my girlfriend. She was going to take the job. She’d move to San Diego in 12 days.
And so the clock began to tick. Counting down to the funeral and counting down to my girlfriend’s departure. The first week was fine. I had another speaking trip in Kansas, and flew back home to Phoenix in time to enjoy a nice date or two with my girlfriend.
But then the rapid fire dominos hit.
Fly back to San Jose on Wednesday, funeral Thursday, fly home on Friday, girlfriend leaves on Sunday.
It wasn’t easy for me by any means. I definitely emo’d out on facebook more than I’d like to admit. I continued to cry from time to time.
But like the popular saying goes, “This, too, shall pass.”
At the funeral, we shared more hilarious stories about my Grammy. My brother put together an amazing video about her, complete with film footage with my dad and aunt as little kids. We were able to celebrate my Grammy’s life. Then we had time to celebrate each other, watching my cousins’ kids play, and laughing quite a bit.
I flew back to Phoenix. My girlfriend and I shared a tearful goodbye.
But then I gained a roommate with a funny little cat (who actually just hopped up onto my desk as I typed this). While my girlfriend has been settling in San Diego, I’ve taken care of her cat (hence the numerous cat-based blog entries). On Tuesday, I’ll drive the cat out to California and will get to spend some time with my girlfriend before my speaking schedule really picks up. We’ve already booked plane tickets for the fall, allowing us the chance to visit one another. I even had some friends help me out with a last second booking in San Diego in late June, allowing a date right in between my one month apart from my girlfriend.
And so that brings us to today.
I look back at how I was feeling a month ago (preparing to leave on a flight to San Jose), and how I’m feeling today. Yes, it’d be easier if I didn’t have to do a long distance relationship. Yes, it’d be easier if those we love never died. Yes, it’d be easier if wallets and passports and cell phones would never leave our sights.
But life is messy.
It doesn’t always wrap itself up nicely in a bow.
But storms do fade away.
So as I dealt with all of this, I listened to After the Storm again.
I reread that blog entry I wrote back in December.
Those two thoughts remain true:
1) Bad days are temporary.
2) I surrounded myself with great people (and a cool cat).
If you’re struggling with anything right now, call up a good friend. Connect. Things will get better.
They have for me.