Chloe

So my younger sister is enjoying a nice vacation from her MSW grad school work. She’s spending two weeks down in Costa Rica and from what I’ve read in her quick emails to the family, she’s having an amazing time. My parents are taking care of her dog and cat while she is away (secretly, I think my dad loves the opportunity–my siblings and I think that my dad is an animal whisperer). I was back in California over the weekend to speak at a conference, and swung by to visit my parents (and my sister’s pets) before heading back to Arizona.

My sister’s dog, Chloe, is pretty awesome. I happened to be living in San Jose when my sister first picked her up and made sure I could always stop by when they visited. Chloe and I are friends–at least I like to think so. She always greets me with incredible enthusiasm and will stay quite close to me whenever I’m now in town to visit.

But Chloe is also a little bit crazy. She sometimes sleeps with an eyemask or at least with a blanket covering her face, she flunked obedience school (or rather she passed on a leash in a separate area from all other dogs), and she regularly barks and anyone entering the front door, even if you just accidentally closed the door on the way out to check the mail. So, yes, she’s a little bit crazy–but in a Marley & Me kind of way. It’s more charming and cute, than annoying.

Which brings us to this weekend. My sister has already been gone for a week, and my parents described Chloe’s depression. Yep, Chloe gets depressed. And she was depressed. Sure, Chloe was energetic when I first arrived–as she always is–but as the evening wore on she sulked around the house. She’d lay in the living room, looking at the front door, awaiting my sister’s arrival. In fairness, this is the longest my sister has ever been away from her pets, but still, Chloe was quite depressed.

She was sad even though my dad had played fetch with her for almost a solid hour in the backyard. She was sad even though he had also spoiled her with more treats than the average dog normally receives. She was sad even though I sat next to her on the couch for a bit, petting her, and chatting with her.

Yep, she was sad.

And so late Saturday night (after I took this photo of her sad face with my iPhone), I started thinking…

Do we do this too?

Sadly, I think the answer is yes.

We sometimes place our happiness and joy in the hands of others:

If that guy or girl likes us back, then we’ll be happy.
If we get the good review from our teacher or boss, then we’ll be happy.
If someone comments on our status, then we have worth and then we’ll be happy.
If a friend invites us to a movie, then we’ll be happy.

The list goes on and on, but basically, we make our happiness the result of the action of others and not our own–or our own perspective.

Don’t get me wrong–I believe that relationships are INCREDIBLY important. I believe we should regularly connect with those around us. I believe the feedback of others is important.

But I don’t believe our sense of worth should solely be dependent on others. Relationships enhance our daily activity, but they are not the only thing that defines us. Often times when we are so dependent on the approval of others, we sometimes miss the support of those closest to us.

Chloe seemed so upset by what was lacking (my sister), that she failed to recognize the incredible love headed her way by my pet whisperer dad.

What might you be missing out on today because you are so focused on that other “missing” piece?

If you like life lesson via stories about pets, check out Patrick’s recent video blog entry.