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Delta Day by Patrick Maurer

The back to school ads now play on my radio as often as the latest Neptune inspired beat on TRL. I guess it is time for the official arrival of fall. I know technically a few more weeks remain especially when a daily wardrobe continues to include flip flops and shorts, but whenever school gets back into session, the five-year-old in me says summer is over and fall is here. I’m always somewhat sad to say goodbye to summer—not in a Seth Cohen kind of way—but rather in an “I sure enjoy my country time lemonade and Cold Stone ice cream” manner. 2005 was a pretty good summer for me filled with several happy memories and a few amusing anecdotes that I can now share at dinner parties.

One such memory included a trip up to the Delta to celebrate a friend’s birthday. I imagine most of you outside the San Francisco Bay Area have probably never heard of the Delta or at least the one to which I am referring. This Delta, located near Sacramento, is a series of waterways that look like they were designed by a three year old who hacked into his older sister’s game of Sim City and will surely be punished. Most first time visitors might wonder if they will actually get a slice of cheese if they find their way home, but the experienced Delta vacationer knows the land like the…well, you know the expression. So if you don’t mind seeing an occasional cow and you’re accompanied by a compassed companion, you can enjoy this ideal spot for watersports. There are so many waterways that the wakes look like David compared to the Goliath versions you may find at some lakes, and the skiing starts to feel more like water version of SS Tricky.

It is at this very Delta that a big group of us took over a small two bedroom home right on the water and proceeded to cover every square foot of the place with so many air mattress and sleeping bags, you’d think we were sponsored by Aerobed and REI. It was a really nice weekend with excellent BBQ (I’m biased because I cooked) and some board games (quick side note: I think Trivia Pursuit was designed by someone who wanted to see me fail). On Saturday we took shifts heading out on the boat or lounging around on our oversized inflatable Oasis Island which we affectionately renamed Pangaea. Like the early fish, unaware of the Darwinian fate lurking in its evolutionary future, I decided to head out on the water in the first group saving my trip onto Pangea for the mid-afternoon.

This was the non-wakeboarding group. I believe wakeboarding is an incredible sport. I have a great admiration for those individuals that can wakeboard. Unfortunately, in all of my attempts, I end up looking more like a mistreated toy being dragged through the water by a tantrumming three year old hopped up on Pixie sticks. In other words, I can’t wakeboard.

I am able to water-ski and really enjoy this sport, but that would have to wait for another Aerobed adventure. On this particular trek, we decided to take on knee-boarding—a brand new sport for me. I’m trying to figure out who exactly came up with the sport. It is fun—don’t get me wrong—but it has one of the most unflattering beginnings. The steps to knee boarding are as follows:
1) Get into water
2) Grab rope
3) Lay on board placing elbows in knee slot, and still hang onto that rope
4) Signify to boat that you are ready to go (hope that you are indeed correct)
5) While still holding onto rope, crouch up onto board and stick your butt up in the air (no joke)
6) Do a small army crawl keeping low, hanging onto rope, balancing on water until your knees are in the original spots your elbow were
7) Let go of rope with one hand, grab the knee strap and pull it over one/possibly two legs
8) Switch hands, finish moving strap over leg, tighten strap, and return hand to rope
9) Have fun
Before I headed out to the boat, a bunch of people were telling me how much easier knee boarding is compared to waterskiing. I do not know if they were waterskiing over lava, but I did not find this to be the case. It did take me a while to learn how to water-ski, but once I had it—I had it (sort of like that whole riding a bike deal). I find it pretty easy to pop back up onto skis. With knee boarding, I felt like I was heading into war (perhaps it was that whole army crawl deal). Until I got that knee strap secured and fastened, I felt as stable a pitcher of plutonium. However, once that strap was locked into position, I felt pretty secure. I was able to maneuver quite effortlessly and the low center of gravity made each twist, turn, and attempted trick take place with X-games ease (or at least I like to think so). After I finished those first few steps, I totally enjoyed the experience.

As I thought about knee-boarding, I started to think about the start of this new school year (I’m still trying to figure out why my brain connects these things but can’t retain enough information to win a game of Trivia Pursuit). Those first few weeks are always just a bit awkward even if you’re familiar with the campus. Figuring out the patterns and styles of new teachers, remembering your new locker combination, restarting that mathematical portion of the brain—it’s a little difficult at first and definitely feels a tad unstable. At times we simply may not like it and get a bit frustrated—like the third time you’ve wiped out on the knee board and are waiting for the boat to circle back around. Still, if we stick with it and continue to take on those challenges, knowing that if we focus just a bit it is possible to keep balanced, we can really enjoy an exciting ride.

So as the calendar shifts from September into October and onto November and our wardrobe acknowledges that fall is honestly here, let’s take on that new challenge. Let’s develop new skills and enhance our understanding and, as always, let’s have some fun and enjoy the people around us in the process.
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Copyright © 2003-05 by pmaurer communication. All rights reserved. Site design by Kenneth Chen. Please direct all inquiries to Patrick Maurer. Page last updated 3:59 PM 9/09/2005.